A man suspected his wife is cheating on him hired a chinese detective to watch after her.
This is his report

MOST HONORABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE
I WATCH HOUSE
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE
I FOLLOW
HE AND SHE GO HOTEL
I FOLLOW
I CLIMB TREE
I LOOK WINDOW
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE
I PLAY WITH ME
I FALL TREE
I NOT SEE
NO FEE,
CHEN LEE.